Just a reminder for those following who haven’t gravitated over to the new blog it is located at: https://fcsyblog.wordpress.com/
Take care.
18+ NSFW. A place for Femdom ideas, fiction, and artwork
Just a reminder for those following who haven’t gravitated over to the new blog it is located at: https://fcsyblog.wordpress.com/
Take care.
I realized this blog is basically invisible. Started another on wordpress that will carry on where this one left off: https://fcsyblog.wordpress.com/
I’m currently mired in one of those cycles where I feel absolutely desperate to connect with others that can accept and understand the turmoil going on within.
The past weeks have contained a mix of good and bad with the bad breaking me down and the good leaving me with a sense of longing. It’s hard for me not to see this as a bit pathetic but it is the truth behind my emotions at this time.
A lot of the world keeps changing and I’m scared at what it is becoming. When I entered the kink-world on the internet I was hoping that it would allow me to take down the masks and faux-alpha armor that I display in day-to-day life. Lately it seems like you need a sharp claw to scratch your way in, a set of fangs to bite down and hang on, and again… armor in order to make your statement and let the shit bounce off without truly soiling you.
I know much of this is depression talking. When it’s not, I don’t ache in the same way or choose these routes to try to sooth the pain of my soul. I can’t tell if I am going crazy or if everything is crazy around me.
I try to be strong within it. I hate feeling like the type that cries for help. Here I am, craving connections… but feeling too awkward to find them. I guess I just don’t know how anymore. What little confidence left in me seems to trickle out little by little with each passing day.
I’ve danced this dance before. I know on the horizon things will feel okay again. I know in the future I will again dare to hope and dream and smiles will flow freely and with little effort. I would love to believe that as a rational being I could simply be patient… but it also feels rational to flail and reject what feels bad and do what is possible to improve it. Maybe tomorrow will feel better.
I have been feeling a bit isolated over the past couple of months… looking to make more kink-aware friends.
If anyone would like to correspond I can be found on fetlife username: fcsy
I’m really trying to be more active there but have yet to find anywhere that felt.. welcoming.